Freethinking Upstart

After some thought and the encouragement of my noble readers, I'll leave it up, put on comment moderation, take off comment email notification, pull my email address from the site and maybe sometime in the future I'll find something to write about.

Be well.

Dear Readers,

I will be shutting down this blog as it's just getting me spam comments and emails. I can't be bothered. I'll open it again if I ever get the bug to start writing and have something to write about. If you want a personal copy of any of my posts, you have till Sunday Night.

Thanks.

I recently met a dude that makes a distinction between life and work, between working and living. I thought it an odd distinction. Don't we need to work to live or at least isn't working part of life? This same dude, will stop you dead in your tracks if you try to talk about work around him. For example, I was recently at a bar and a friend from work started talking to me about something that came up at work, and the guy says, "Woe! Time out... You guys get paid to talk about this at work. Lets take some time here and live a little." I started talking about another deal with another guy about 10 minutes later and the guy quickly cut that conversation off as well, saying something about life and living and not talking about work when you're supposed to be living. (For the record, this dude is great and went on to apologize for his reactions. My intention is not to make him look anything but positive.)

I used to make a similar distinction, but I called it Work and Not Work. Work was a necessary evil, and you did it for as little as you needed, the rest of your time being spent doing stuff you enjoy, whatever that may be. You had friends at work and friends from not work and only spent time with your friends at work when you were at work. There was a completely separate world with completely different people outside of work and never did you mix the two worlds.

But that's changed recently. Even though I've loved the place I work and the people there since the beginning, for a long time I was working under the assumption that I should keep my work life separate from my not work life. But I quickly started working more then the bare minimum of hours, and I'm gradually getting more comfortable socializing with the guys at work outside of work. That black and white distinction between work and not work has blurred and now I just live life, part of which is working. I don't try to keep my friends separate, or even draw to thick of a line between working and non-working hours.

So for all those that still have a job or haven't retired yet, do you believe in the work and not work dichotomy?

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov talked a lot about talking to God in your own language. He felt it was the key to a vibrant relationship with God. I don't find talk about God to be fruitful for me, but I do find the practice of being by yourself and just talking your heart out to be therapeutic and a useful tool to working through your thoughts. I find this practice especially enjoyable when done in the meadows and forests. Unfortunately, the weather doesn't permit this, and its hard enough for me to make it to the gym, let alone setting aside time to meditate.

There are several types of meditation and I find this form to be the most relaxed and the easiest. I've always wanted to engage in Buddhist style meditation, but its so abstract and takes awhile till you feel like you're actually doing something.

The thing is, you feel insane at times, just sitting there, having animated conversations with yourself. Isn't talking to yourself the mark of a crazy man? But I figure that as long as no one sees me, and I'm not walking through the streets mumbling to myself, no one will know the difference.

Does anyone out there practice any serious form of meditation? Yeshivish Atheist mentioned it. Does he care to share some techniques and experiences?

Not sure why, but I think that this is a cool holiday. It can't be too bad, as it is all about drinking wine and eating exotic fruits.

Tu b'shvat was made more significant because of the mystic Rabbi Isaac Luria. Mysticism has an odd attraction to me, even now. I don't believe in other worlds, though String theory, and some respectable philosophical traditions, seem to point to other dimensions that may be similar to that which mystical traditions hope for. But, like most things, I can't take it too seriously. Its fun to think about, nonetheless.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I like forests, and so having a Jewish holiday in their honor is nice. I'm not a tree hugger, (ok... Maybe just a little bit) but I do like trees. They can be so beautiful, and thinking about the potential of the mighty towering oak, contained in the acorn is inspiring and mind boggling. Its a comfortable metaphor that speaks to me. Though, there are other metaphors that might be more incredible, there's something about acorns and oaks that hits home.

So in honor of the trees, drink some wine and partake of their fruits and think of the beauty in having a delicious prepared food that's good for your health and brings delight to your taste buds. Oh, and plant one, or at least try to conserve them, as they are good for the environment which is quickly deteriorating. Not like I'll be doing any of that but it sounds responsible.

P.S. What do you think of the new layout?

Evanstonjew pointed out that many linger with Orthodoxy, even after they have forsaken many of the beliefs, because they lack intellectual capital in other subjects. I could go on and on about how I was robbed by my upbringing but that would go against the title and my desire to move on with life.

But beginnings are tough and investing in new intellectual capital takes time. I have interests in Rorty, and other western thinkers, some Taoist and Buddhist thought, but it's all very new for me. I LOVE jazz and take advantage of listening to it at nearly any chance I get. I'm a big fan of forests, mountains, and bodies of water. But I don't know much about these things and worse I don't have any one to talk to or share experiences with.

Occasionally I'll get into conversations with old friends about some sugia in the Gemara, or other Torah subject, and I'll get a glimpse of remembrance of the geshmak of lernen. At times like this I wonder if I'd regret forgetting the Torah that I've learned. But I'm not sure if I'm willing to spend the time necessary. I have a lot of new things that I'd like to learn... new subjects that I feel will better suit my new views on things and offer suited intellectual stimulation. All my friends were Orthodox Jews, mostly pretty Hareidi in belief, and they aren't the first candidates for a discussion on Rorty or Zen. Finding people that like to have these conversations isn't easy. 

Then there's Judaism in general. Do I want to make something of it? Is it something that I'll do for the holidays and forget about it the rest of the time? Sometimes I feel an obligation to make something of Judaism, to take being a Jew seriously, but then I wonder if it's worth the trouble. Seeing Judaism as defined by anything other than Hareidi-ism is difficult for me. I recently started reading a few progressive Orthodox blogs. They are interesting, but I keep thinking, "That's not right... Rishon X or se'if y from the Shulchan Arukh clearly says not like that!" I enjoy Rabbi Rami's blog but he is cynical about a meaningful worthwhile Judaism surviving into the next few generations. I can't help but agree. I'm not sure Judaism the religion is or will be seen as anything but out of touch and folky to the majority of Jews, which is making an already waning Jewish Culture fade into obscurity or antiquity all the more quickly. Additionally, it's hard enough for me to socialize... Do I need the added stigma of taking Judaism seriously? Not that I'm embarrassed of being a Jew... Chalila! But I feel that if I do, I'll be limiting my social circle, and finding a comfortable social circle is hard enough. Not sure why I feel this way about Judaism and not philosophy or Zen but I do. I feel that if I'm fortunate to marry a good Jewish maidele, I'll be more motivated to stimulate my mind with Judaism and make it a motivating part of my life. Until then, I don't see Judaism becoming significantly more attractive.

My views on life are constantly evolving and I'm comfortable and happy about that. But I wish I could download all the important literature that's been written over that past couple thousand years into my brain while I sleep, so I could start thinking about it and writing about it. Beginnings

By the way, this is my one hundred and first post. Mamesh Hashgacha ;-)

After putting up a test post from my phone, I got to thinking that maybe this will change the dynamics of this blog. Maybe I'll start doing some short blog posts with random thoughts and still go for some more thoughtful and longer posts a few times a month.

Do any of my fellow bloggers use this tool? Any tips, advice?

BTW, this post was also sent from my phone!

This post was inspired by Material Maidel's and OTD's recent posts.

People that grew up in cults and escape tend to be angry at their former lifestyle, especially if they are still stuck in it or still have to have constant contact with it, because of family, friends etc. Those outside of that cult usually find such anger to be justified.

However, there comes a point where even many of the those outside the cult start to lose sympathy. The justification starts to get past it's expiration date and turns sour, making such anger, or other painful emotions, sound more and more childish, more and more like whining and immaturity. Your fellow escapees may put a longer expiration date on your feelings, but even some of them start to get frustrated, especially if they have found the courage and strength to move on, forget and/or make progress with their lives.

The expiration date on the justification of your feelings varies from person to person and from situation to situation.

Till now I've only written about justification for your feelings. There are other aspects, such as whether criticism is justified, what kinds of criticism are effective and for whom.

I'm for free speech, even if it isn't intelligent, even if it's coming from an angry guy in his early 20s, even if it's incessant and obnoxious. Like OTD says, "If you don't like it, don't read it."

Are criticisms effective? Effective on whom and what kind of effect? These are all very interesting questions that are worthwhile looking into. I don't think that my earlier militaristic style along the lines of "Fundies are ignorant fools that piss in their pants or stick their heads in the sand in the face of modern Science," is very effective in opening the minds of fundamentalists to criticisms of their faith. It may be effective as a sort of anger therapy for the author of the blog and fellow angry escapees but I feel that it's best to move on with life. The therapy starts to turn into bitch sessions and instead of venting your anger, it digs you deeper and deeper into an emotional ditch that gets harder and harder to escape from. Of course there are those that may be comfortable there. I don't think that's a healthy place to be, but maybe that's just me.

I think that a more conversational style of criticism is effective in getting people from other points of view to consider your own. Aggression tends to build stronger, more sound proof walls in communication. It tends to drain your arguments of positive effects and they tend to turn into self rationalizations and self justifications using the accuracy of your own imagination as the only axiom.

Read or watch it here.

President Obama is at times described as an idealist and at other times as a pragmatist. Not that Obama's speeches are at times Kantian and other times Deweyian... Rather, at times the President inspires his listeners and paints a glorious canvas of our potential American landscape and at other times he's more realistic, focusing on dealing with the very real problems that our nation faces. Both aspects can be seen throughout his inaugural address.

Here is an example of a paragraph where he uses both idealism and pragmatism jointly.

"They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met. [pragmatism] On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord. [idealism]"

Another subject that the President discusses is service.

"For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth. "

This is very encouraging as I fear that American pride in a job well done has severely diminished and in the words of Deuteronomy, we "have waxen fat." It would certainly be refreshing to see an era of service inspired by our new President.

Richard Rorty wrote about something he called "changing the conversation." When thought and languages evolve, often times the questions that bothered us melt away into history. Often confrontation changes to dialogue by simply changing the conversation. Facing off with skeptics, completely on their terms, will get you no place fast and so looking at things from another perspective, changing the way you talk about things can bring unforseen insights and answers to perrenial problems. That seems to be what President Obama is doing when he says the following: "The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works..." He refuses to play the game of big vs. small government. By doing so, he avoids the stereotypes of a pervading Reagan philosophy and steers the conversation into new and promising territory.

He uses a similar tactic when he says, "As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." By rejecting this dichotomy as false, he can go on to work out a balance between safety and ideals.

The President said,

"We will restore science to its rightful place..."

and later,

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers."

The atheists, agnostics, skeptics, scientists, and others should be happy. Our new president is a giant step in the opposite direction of George W. This president has a healthy respect for science and even acknowledged non-believers.

"For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. "

As the Preacher said, "A threefold cord is not quickly broken." I've written a lot recently about my appreciation for variety. Pluralism and mutual acceptance are among our greatest virtues and the President duly noted them.

When President Obama said, "... know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy," do you think he was referring at all to Hamas? (Someone else pointed this out to me and I think I agree that he was, at least implicitly.)

"This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny. "

This is a fascinating theology, one I thought was foreign to Christianity. Especially in Calvanism, there is this notion of predetermination. I'm not a student of Christian Theology, but I thought that this and similar ideas were common. There are Jewish commentators that explain that when God said "Na'aseh"(Let us make) in Genesis, he was calling on his Creation to participate, and I've heard Jewish thought speak of the idea that we are partners with God, as it were. But I think that this statement takes it even further. The President is not saying that we are partners, but that God has handed over the job of shaping destiny, one that is uncertain at that. God is driving the world hands free and is either not knowledgeable, concerned, or responsible for it's outcome. (Look Mary, No Hands!) This smacks of deism. Perhaps the President has been reading a lot from our founding fathers. Whatever the case may be, the accusations of the anti-religious like "God made me do it [evil deeds]," and Steven Weinberg's quote, "But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion" in no way apply to President Obama's view on the matter.

Let's see what this guy can do. This speech has already influenced me. Since hearing it, I've been thinking about conserving energy and ways I can contribute to society. Hopefully, things will continue along these lines through his blog , tweets, and youtube addresses and people will be motivated to better things.

The United States of America has just inaugurated President Barak Hussein Obama. I'm pretty stoked.

A few weeks ago, I thought I'd found her. I was looking forward to closing down this blog and continuing to write, but waiting on publishing my thoughts in a new, non-anonymous blog sometime after I became a very fortunate, old married man. But now I'm not so sure.

Most of the blogs that I enjoyed so much not so long ago seam horrifically drab. I'm changing the blogs and books I read. Maybe it's the new year...?

Looking back on my first comments and posts, my face makes Red Lights green with envy. I'm not that much older, but surely some angsty teenager wrote that rubbish. My sincerest apologies, dear readers, for wasting your time. My deepest gratitude, for sticking it out with me.

What's in store for this new year? I'm not sure. Writing has been especially difficult of late, even though I want to write now more then ever. Thoughts are so crammed in my head that there's no flow. I need to get some of them out into cyberspace. Maybe I just need to break the ice, and maybe then my thoughts will be able to flow again.